Domestic Violence: Who is Protecting The Men?

There are things that happen around us that we never seem to notice because we are always focused on those we deem to be more vital than the rest. Who focuses on the things we ignore? Who does what we think is less important to us?

When you hear the ads running on radio about how women are abused in and out of marriage by their husbands, fathers, or any male figure in their lives, you get enraged that there are people with such evil hearts that they enjoy beating and physically abusing those who are weaker than them. There is nothing sadder than seeing your mother or sister being abused by someone, or knowing they are in pain and you cannot help them because they live in fear of the men who are supposed to protect them.

Paul* is a good man, he met a wonderful lady in Cathy*. The day they met, she was the perfect lady for him, her smile and demeanor spoke class and she made conversations seem enchanting since Paul was not much of a talker. They dated for three months and along the way, he popped the question and she said yes. They moved in together after the Kwanjula (Traditional wedding) and started planning for their church wedding. Paul remembers that the day she moved in, is the day things changed for them, he noticed the things she used to do and say even more than before. Cathy had a violent streak, whenever she got angry, she would throw things or slap something but when they moved in together, instead of throwing things at walls, she would throw them at him, she would slap him,

insult him in public when drunk or become very disrespectful. Paul tried talking to her but Cathy became even worse than before, Paul was raised catholic and his mother has always told him never to hit a woman or anyone that is weaker than him just because he is a man.

Just like in Paul’s case, what happens if tables turn? What happens when it is the other way round when the one that is expected to be the tormentor is the victim?

There are so many men in the world that are currently in abusive relationships, but them being men, they would rather be mum about their situations than let the world know that they are being abused by a woman because women are deemed as the weaker species. Few will believe a man if he walked into a police station and reported his wife/ partner for physical violence in Uganda and that is one of the reasons as to why it is hard to believe that men can be abused too.

In the US alone there are reports and cases filed by men against their spouses based on physical abuse but when you come back to Africa, men live in silence the way women do because no one wants to be stigmatized. If you walked along the street and found a man beating on a woman, you would rush to her rescue but if you found a man being beaten by a woman, you would assume, he either touched her inappropriately or tried to rob her, why? Because these are things that are not expected to happen, yet they happen every day around us, but we would rather ignore them than stop them.Violence of any form against any one be it a man, woman especially children is a horrid thing to do we should protect those around us but as men protect women and children, who fights for the men

who are abused by the women?

Note: Paul and Cathy are not the real names of the People mentioned.